Wallowing

Well, despite my best intentions, I couldn't wait until Sunday to take another pregnancy test. I took one this morning and big surprise, it was negative. Try as I might, I could not detect anything that could possibly be considered a second pink line. I think it's pretty safe to say that I am not pregnant -- given that my period is due tomorrow, I am pretty sure that I would have seen even a very faint line if I were pregnant.

I can't express how bummed I am right now. All I can think about is how easy it is for other folks to get pregnant (like my friends M and T). And, each time I get back a negative test or get my period, the sadness of the miscarriage washes over me again. I keep thinking about how far along in that pregnancy I would be by now (just over the halfway mark).

So, I guess I'll give my doctor a call this week and talk about next steps -- tests, meetings with fertility doctors, etc. He and I talked about this before, but it's time to get new info.

Until then, I'll have a drink at dinner tonight and continue to wallow in my own crapulence...