My mind is a disjointed mess right now. Here is just a sampling...
-- Ah, solitude. I practically pushed R and S out the door to take a bike ride tonight. The two of them were making me crazy. There is something so delicious about getting a few minutes alone in the house that I didn't expect or plan for. It's only for a few minutes, but it's heaven.
-- I miss alcohol. All those Italian, French, and Spanish women who continue to drink during their pregnancies have my envy and admiration. I could hurt someone right now for a glass of wine or a vodka tonic. I can almost convince myself that just a little sip can't hurt. But, I didn't drink at all during my pregnancy with S, so I am not going to do differently with this one.
-- My husband is a seriously smart man. R is the smartest man I've ever met which is one reason I married him. That's why I am so confused. When it comes to cleaning the stove, he's a semi-retard. It's unreal. I find egg drippings and grease from quesadillas after he has supposedly "cleaned" the stove. And I am not sure what implement he uses to wipe stuff up, but it's not the clean cloths or towels that I keep handy for such occasions. Instead, he uses the grimiest thing he can find which does nothing but leave disgusting grease streaks all over the place. And, I sit there and tell myself, "Okay, I am NOT going to clean this up. Let him notice how nasty this is and do it himself. He'll see. He won't take for granted anymore that I'll clean up after him." This tactic of course lasts for about 8 minutes until I just can't stand it anymore clean it myself.
-- An old friend of ours is coming tonight and is going to stay with us for about 10 days. Ordinarily, I would be a whirlwind of housecleaning activity in order to prepare for a guest (particularly someone who was in our wedding), but this guy has been living with yaks, so his standards can't be too high. Seriously, with yaks. He's been living in Nepal for the past two years in villages in the Himalayas with indigenous people who don't take baths more than a couple of times a year. So, I am not sweating it. I mean, this place has to look better, right?
-- S has discovered the word "mine" and now uses it indiscriminately for everything. It could belong to anyone, but to her it's "mine." Oh, it makes social situations with other toddlers (like playgroups and birthday parties) so much freakin' fun.
-- I still miss alcohol.