Wow. Life just seems much more difficult when you're getting no sleep. On Wednesday afternoon, I took a Claritin (allergies in Northern Cal have been particularly bad this year) without realizing how bad the side effects would be for me. I went to bed at 9:15pm, woke up at 11:15pm, and stayed awake until almost 4am. Uggh. Then, I think I slept from about 4am 'til about 5am, and was done. And, of course the kids have no concept of Mama's sleep-deprivation. Needless to say, I was zombie-like. But, the show must go on, right? So, I schlepped S over to a birthday party on Thursday and stayed through the entire thing.
So, that night, it's no wonder that I couldn't wait to get to bed. It's also little wonder that it was that particular night when my one year old (who has been sleeping through the night since she was six months old) decided to wake up at 3:15am.. How do they know?!? How do they know to kick you when you're down? And of course, my husband who claims to be kept awake by the neighbors' barking dogs somehow slept through our own baby's cries down the hall. Interesting selective hearing. Anyway, I was naturally up with the baby for an hour, and then couldn't fall back to sleep. Thus, in the course of two nights, I managed to get myself almost a single night's sleep.
When I am sleep-deprived, I am a bitch. Let's just put that out there right now. My patience (which isn't prodigious to begin with) is almost non-existent when I am exhausted. I found myself really irritated by my three year old, which only made me feel guilty, which made me even grumpier. You can see the downward spiral this created. It's at these times that I am completely reassured about our decision not to have any more kids -- I just don't think I have the reserves of patience required to withstand another extended period of sleep-deprivation.
So, I finally managed to get some sleep this weekend in between attending another birthday party and hosting an Easter egg-dyeing party at my house for 14 children under four years old (the topic of a different post, certainly!). Now life doesn't seem as daunting, I have some more patience, and am a little less bitchy. For now.